A recent newcomer to our dojo is also a recent newcomer to our country. He’s from England, so it’s a pleasure hearing idioms and phrases that aren’t part of the Canadian lexicon.
On a recent sojourn to another dojo, he was having a conversation with a member of that club and the conversation turned to how nice people in kendo seem to be. One phrase that came out of that conversation was “there are no wankers in kendo”.
For those of you who aren’t familiar with the term “wanker”, there are two meanings. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, the first is “a very stupid or unpleasant person, usually a man”. If you’re curious about the second meaning, you can look up that NSFW meaning on your own.
I’ve been pondering the notion of there being no “very stupid or unpleasant people in kendo”. In my kendo journey I have encountered very few unpleasant people in the dojo. For anyone who’s wondering, yes, they were all men. I remember all of them. My memory’s not that great, so remembering each of them after all these years is kind interesting. There really weren’t that many.
Why might this be?
There are some elements of kendo that discourage jerk-like behaviour. Kendo is a full-contact martial art. If you’re going to be a jerk, you’ll find others will be a jerk back to you in a very direct way. Want to hit too hard on purpose? You’ll get it right back, and probably from the senior students and sensei who can dish it out quite effectively. Do you talk trash? There’s going to be someone in the dojo who’s better than you who will show everyone how little skill you have to back up the B.S. that comes out of your mouth. When the consequences of your actions are swift and strong, you learn it’s not beneficial to be a jerk in a kendo dojo.
Then there’s the whole self-development philosophy. You’re there to make yourself a better person through training in the way of the sword. People on the journey to self-improvement treat themselves and others with respect. Fundamentally, when you disrespect another, you’re disrespecting your self. Respect in the dojo is paramount. This in turn discourages inappropriate behaviour.
Over time you may encounter someone who’s a skilled kendo player but whose youth, natural talent, immaturity, strength and aggressiveness means he (or she) is somewhat immune to the built-in corrective nature of the dojo environment. If they stay and rise through the ranks, their behaviour will inevitably change because one day they’re going to have to teach. From my perspective, if there’s anything that highlights the shortcomings in your kendo and your self, it’s having to teach others. If you weren’t humble before you started teaching, you will learn humility. Also, those who have to teach are generally a little older and are more mature, so youthful tendencies start to fall away. A person perceived as a jerk at the start of their kendo journey will either leave because of “dojo justice” or over time, gain the experience and maturity to become a better person and a role model for new students in the dojo. The guidance provided by their sensei and sempai is also an important factor in their development. To paraphrase, it takes a dojo to train a kendoka.
When you encounter a jerk in kendo, remember there is something to be gained from the experience. You have an opportunity to become stronger, to become a better person, to practice control and self-discipline and to “step up” your kendo in a way you don’t have to when sparring with someone who’s a more decent person. Your kendo and sense of self can improve when you take on challenging situations with a positive mindset and intention. After all, you don’t hone a blade on a sponge.
All that being said, jerks are few and far between in kendo for myriad reasons. And, of course, there may be reasons for people’s unusual behaviour (see the previous post). The journey to a better self is a process. There are ups and downs. Plateaus and setbacks abound. Internal and external challenges will present themselves and will either be overcome or not. Enjoy the relatively wanker-free journey.